Okay now that I got that out, on to the point of this post, the story of the birth of my son...
Let me start off by saying I am not one of those people who think pregnancy and childbirth is beautiful. Don't get me wrong, there were certain things I loved about it like feeling my baby moving around inside of me, being able to eat whatever I wanted and not feel guilty about it (sort of), having an excuse to lay around all day instead of cleaning the house like I should have been. The experience as a whole was not "beautiful", but the end result was. I felt fat and ugly, everything hurt all the time, and I was exhausted. So when it came down to actual labor, I wanted to know nothing. I didn't want to see pictures or watch movies. It scared the hell out of me and grossed me out a lot so I just did not want to know. I read the labor and delivery section of the What to Expect When You're Expecting book exactly one time because I felt like I had to, and that was it. Looking back, I wish I had been a little more prepared.
I was due December 10th and the weeks leading up to his birth were tough. I was so uncomfortable and there was absolutely nothing going on down there. Each doctors appointment was a huge disappointment and I pretty much was set on the fact that this baby was going to have to be forced out of me. I just did not feel like I was going to go into labor any time soon. Low and behold, B decided he had had enough and proved me wrong.
I woke up on December 8th around 3am. I felt crampy but thought nothing of it and fell back asleep. I remember waking up to the same feeling about three more times and then at 4:30am I woke up for the last time thinking "okay this is weird maybe I should start paying attention to this feeling". Sure enough the feeling came back. Since this was my first time, I had that fear every first time mother has, that I would have no idea when I was in labor. Well I can tell you, my contractions were textbook. I didn't believe everyone when they said "you'll know when it's real" but sure enough I did. Each one came on like a wave, rising and falling. By the time my husband woke up for work I had been having contractions every 7-10 minutes lasting about a minute each. They were uncomfortable but not terrible. I called the doctor just to see what I should do and they wanted me to come in to the office to get checked, so we both stayed home from work.
We decided to bring all the packed bags and be ready to go just in case. We got to the office and they checked me and told me I was 3cm! That was the greatest news ever because it meant that these were the real things and we were that much closer to meeting our little man. The doctor hooked me up to the machine and monitored my contractions for about 20 min. Sure enough they were the real deal, so he was sending me to labor and delivery. He actually made a funny face when looking at the sheet and said "you have a high pain tolerance don't you?" I was uncomfortable but able to walk and talk and laugh through the contractions, which I guess surprised him. We called my parents so they could get ready and start the two hour drive up to CT. We all thought the baby would be here soon but boy were we wrong.
We spent about four hours in labor and delivery. We walked up and down the hallways for two hours hoping to make some progress. After all that time (it had been about 5 hours since I was checked at the doctors office) I was still 3cm. It was like someone had took a pin to my big happy labor balloon. My contractions were getting stronger but I was still able to walk and talk through them so despite my pleading for them to let me stay, they sent me home with instructions to come back when my contractions were less than 5 minutes apart and I couldn't walk or talk through them. I was petrified to go home. What if I all of a sudden progressed rapidly? I live 45 minutes from the hospital!
My parents were waiting for us at the house. That night was torture. I had been up since 4am and all I wanted to do was sleep but with each contraction I was woken up. I told M to get some rest, and I spent the entire night awake and contracting. They were getting bad and by the next morning I could no longer walk or talk through them and was in a lot of pain, but they were still between 6-8 minutes apart. Finally I said screw it, and we left for the hospital. The car ride there was torture... I was in so much pain and an hour in the car (we stopped at Starbucks to get hubby a coffee, ha) without the ability to walk around was not fun!
We finally go to labor and delivery only to find out I was only 4cm! The issue was I was extremely dehydrated. Silly me forgot to drink a lot of water throughout the night. They admitted us (woohoo!) and once we got settled in our room, they had to hook me up to an IV to give me fluids for the dehydration. At this point the contractions were strong and I had not slept in about 32 hours so I decided it was epidural time even though I was only 4cm. I figured I needed the rest to get me through labor and I was already hooked up to and IV. The epidural was surprisingly easy and painless, and after, M told me how he couldn't believe I didn't even flinch because he saw the needle and it was huge! I instantly couldn't feel anything and thought this was wonderful until I found out, oh wait no, that was because my contractions had just stopped! Literally stopped dead. The line on my screen was flat and steady, no mountains going up and down. My nurse couldn't believe it but after speaking with the doctor, it turns out that pumping me with fluids and the epidural had caused my labor to just stop. So, they decided to give me pitocin, the dreaded drug that every pregnant woman wants to avoid if at all possible, and it honestly wasn't that bad.
I labored fairly easily for the next few hours. The epidural was magic and I was able to nap and chat with M, my mom and my mother-in-law. When I got to 7cm they broke my water and after that things started to get intense. Over the next couple hours, I started feeling a lot more. Each contraction I would feel what I could only describe as strong pressure. I was getting really uncomfortable as my contractions were pretty much one right on top of the other so the anaesthesiologist had to give me this extra special "shot" of epidural which helped for a little while. By the time I was 9cm I was in a lot of pain and feeling so much of that pressure it was excruciating. I kicked everyone out of the room except for my husband as I wanted the birth to be just him and I.
I was finally at 10cm at around 5:30pm, but still had a slight "lip" that needed to go away before I could start pushing. Each contraction was torture at this point. I was literally screaming through them. My poor husband, I'm surprised he still has a hand! All I wanted to do was push with each contraction. I always thought that if I had the epidural, I would never feel what I felt at that point. I swore I could feel everything and think that my epidural started to ware off or something. Through my haze I remember hearing my nurse call the desk and tell them "we need another epi bag call the anesthesiologist". I also remember once I started pushing he walked into the room and she said "it's too late she's pushing". So I truly think I was feeling way more than I should have been feeling.
After about the longest hour of my life, the "lip" was gone and they called the doctor for me to start pushing. I was feeling so much pressure I seriously thought he would just fly right out, but he decided to be much more stubborn than that. I pushed for a little more than two hours and they were horrible. I was exhausted and ready to give up. M almost passed out at one point but he was fine once he was able to sit down next to me rather than stand hunched over. I remember saying numerous times that I couldn't do it any more, I wanted to stop, and the nurse responded with "well he's got no where else to go but out so you can't stop, we can't put him back in!" which makes me laugh now. They kept trying to get me to breath through my contractions but I was horrible at that. I was that crazy lady that literally screamed bloody murder each time and was hysterical between contractions. Eventually they told me they were going to have to cut me and I just said "I DON'T CARE DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET HIM OUT OF ME!"
Finally, at 8:40pm on December 9th, two trips to the hospital, 40 hours of labor, two hours of pushing and one episiotomy later, B was born weighing 7lbs 12oz and 19 inches long! He decided to greet mommy and daddy with a glimpse into their future and 1 minute after coming out, he peed all over both of us!
I'm not going to lie, labor and delivery were way worse than I thought they would be. I was completely unprepared for what I experienced. I thought I would get the epidural and it would be smooth sailing until I had to push in which I would just feel enough pressure to know when to push. I wish I had been a little more prepared.
...but to every pregnant woman out there reading this, don't worry it's completely true what everyone says. Once the baby was out, and I saw him for the first time, all of those hours just disappeared. Nothing else mattered except for this tiny creature that was ours. It was all worth it in the end!
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